"I have a photograph"

“Time it was and what a time it was
A time of innocence
A time of confidences
Long ago it must be
I have a photograph
Preserve your memories
They’re all that’s left you” -Simon and Garfunkel, “Bookends”

Who's Running the Show?

It may seem that they are waiting for their "masters" but in actuality...
they are the drivers...running the show! And what would we do without them?

A New Day

I don't know why things happen the way they do. But I do know that the reason the sun sets is so that it can lift again the next day and bring with it a fresh start, a new perspective and most of all hope.

Stuart Overton Parsons

What's in a picture? More than a thousand words and certainly a life well lived.

While I didn't know Stuart Parsons as well as I should have, I felt his vibrancy when he entered a room and I knew he was a fine man because of the beautiful women who surrounded him in this life--his Harriet, his Cindy, his Carol and his Pamela! Yes, his body tired before his spirit was ready to follow, but what a wonderful gift it was that he left his spirt bright at his departure. That brightness will guide all of us who trail behind him and will instruct those nearest and dearest to him in the lessons of loving from a distance. Afterall, he was a brilliant instructor and now we will just have to listen differently to hear what he has yet to say.

Life in a New Year

Life isn't perfect. There are zigs and zags and then a cut off where there was thought to be a road.

How do we make sense of anything? "Keep your eye on the ball"-- and then the ball veers off to the left while you are looking to the right. What to do? Reset!

Our minds and hearts are required to expand and reset constantly. If there were only one way to see anything, life would be quite simple. And we know that while in moments life may appear simple, it is simply not easy! We are summoned to be courageous. Even courage sounds easy until we are put to the test.

There have been so many times in life that I have thought I escaped a "test"--there has even been a touch of arrogance in that thought. As I grow older, I realize that there is great danger in this arrogance--in the thought that I have escaped what others have had to endure. Maturing is actually escaping this arrogance and moving toward empathy and compassion.

While I plan to dream big and hope high in the new year, I also want to remain aware of the fact that anything can happen to anyone at anytime. There is such humility in that thought. My wish for the new year is to stay steady and in a moment of unsteadiness--be willing to reset.

And while there are the zigs and the zags that make visibility ahead more difficult, I always want to remember that it is precisely those same zigs and zags that make the adventure of life worth living.

Happy New Year!

December 11

My father was strict--not always warm and fuzzy, but his goatee was and he let me fluff it around. This must have been Easter as my mom always made sure I had a new dress, fancy hat and proper handbag to match my shoes.
I used to sit on the den couch with my dad and Bijou my sweet poodle. We watched baseball when the Pirates were playing and he always called me in to watch a program if someone was dancing. He never missed one of my private tap lessons and eventhough he was short on compliments and big on how to work harder advice, I know he was proud of me.
My father never smiled bigger (unless he was with Camille) than when he was surrounded by all 5 of his sisters, Clara, Stella, Rose, Sophie and Barbara. I'm sure he did the polka with each one this day! Especially with Sophie--she taught me how to polka. She was the queen of polka!
I love this photo so much because it reminds me of what a thinker he was. It makes me imagine what he was working on in his mind. He was beautiful and so put together all the way until the end.

Today he would have been 94. Happy Birthday Daddy, I miss you.

Thanks and Giving

My mom spent Thanksgiving with us in Palo Alto for the first time in a long while. She made her homemade cinnamon rolls (two delicious batches!) and with Camille, made her gussied up pumpkin pie recipe. She sat and enjoyed the warm fire, gave the relentless Charlotte all the love she demanded (Bouzette too!) and survived all the fast moving Labats in the kitchen. On Saturday, after all was said and done and devoured, it was time to take her home. I hadn't been feeling well and it worried her that I was going to have to drive to Ventura. We got in the car and I saw an emotional Dorothy sitting next to me. I asked her if she was ok and she said, "I don't like being dependent. I could still do this drive by myself and I feel badly that you have to drive when you don't feel well." I said that for her, I would do anything even if I didn't feel like driving. The drive, it turns out, was spectacular and we did it with the top down (she's always game for anything!) all the way!
I woke up the next morning and readied myself for the drive back. I don't like leaving my mom alone in the driveway---how I wish my father were still there standing beside her. I needed to talk with him so I stopped at the pier to have my conversation. It's not the real deal but it helps. When I was little, I was scared to walk out on the pier because I could see the ocean between the planks. One day, we all walked out there (I'm sure I was riding piggy back with my dad) and miraculously the spaces had been closed up with additonal planks. For a long while, I believed that my father had done that for me, afterall, he was such a "fix it" person!
Next, I drove through the Santa Ynez Valley vineyards, top down, playing Mozart's Requiem and feeling so many emotions. That valley drive is my time to convene with the gods. It dawned on me then that what I should have said to my mother when she told me she didn't like being dependent was this: We are all dependent on each other. I need her as much as she needs me and I am so very fortunate to still have her to hug, to bug, and to love. Thanks and giving...she provides me with that opportunity.